Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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