I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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