It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
