I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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