hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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