So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
