we have pet lesbian snakes
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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