im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize