Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
