Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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