I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
