clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
