so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
