It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my being single is dangerous.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
