i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize