so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
