I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
