dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
