I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
