Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize