what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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