some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
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I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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