covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
