Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
