She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
