Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
