I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
