Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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