so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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