i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
