Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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