My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
