I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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