It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
