You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
