"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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