I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
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i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
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Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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