Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize