she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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