I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
