Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize