you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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