Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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