Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
