theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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