and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
