butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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