Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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