i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
