forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
