Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
vagina is talking i cant
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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