Your tits are I can't wait for
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
