Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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