so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
