Soap is not a condiment
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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