Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
