I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize