yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
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It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
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You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize