I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
jump out the window naked night went bad
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