let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
