Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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