Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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