Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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