I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
