plz talk dirty to me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
