I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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