i need an iv and a liver transplant
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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