I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think I won the penis lottery.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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